The Wrong First Impression
by Teenage Mouse
Summary: First impressions were important, especially in a world where the first words you said to your soul mate would be tattooed on their body from birth. Much to Arthur's annoyance, his own tattoo simply said "Hi", and that wasn't helpful at all.


First impressions were important, especially in a world where the first words you said to your soul mate would be tattooed on their body from birth.

Much to Arthur's annoyance, his own tattoo simply said: "Hi".

It was just plain pathetic! How on earth was he supposed to figure out who his soul mate was based on " _Hi_ ". Everybody said " _Hi_ ". That wasn't a clue! It could be anybody!

In fact, it was that lousy word tattooed on his left hip bone that encouraged Arthur to invent his own unique greeting. He had no way of figuring out who his soul mate was from his own tattoo, but he would make bloody well sure they knew who he was with his unique introduction!

And so, ever since he was a child, Arthur had always introduced himself in the same way: "I'm Arthur Kirkland and it's my sincerest pleasure to meet you." Whenever he met someone new – be at a kid at school, a cashier in a shop, or a bus driver – he would use those magic words, and wait for someone, some day, to gasp and smile and fly into his arms.

By the time he was twenty-three he was used to the funny looks his old-fashioned greeting received, so when his friend Gilbert dragged him to a party one night he didn't feel too offended when his introduction earned him a few strange looks.

"I'm Arthur Kirkland and it's my sincerest pleasure to meet you," Arthur said for about the twelfth time that night, shaking hands with a handsome young blond man in glasses.

"Um…Nice to meet you?" the man replied, uncertainly.

"Don't bother using your line on Matthew, he's already taken," said Gilbert, wrapping an arm proudly around Matthew's waist and tugging him close.

"So you're the infamous best friend?" asked Matthew, turning to Arthur with a soft smile.

"It certainly seems that way. I can assure you I have little say in the matter."

"Aww, he loves me really," Gilbert grinned. "And I've been dying for you two to meet! My two best boys!"

Matthew flushed pink, and Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Actually, there's someone I want you to meet, too, Gilbert," said Matthew. "My brother's come to visit and – "

As if on cue, a voice rang out over the crowd.

"Matt! There you are!"

A stranger appeared suddenly at Matthew's side, and Arthur found his eyes raking slowly upwards, as if everything had turned to slow motion. Tight jeans, tighter t-shirt, toned muscles, tanned skin, brilliant smile, stunning blue eyes, soft golden hair…Arthur's knees actually went weak and he had to shuffle his feet to make sure he was able to stand up steady.

"The name's Alfred F. Jones. Nice to finally meet ya!" said the newcomer, grabbing Gilbert's hand and giving it a hearty shake.

"Likewise!" Gilbert beamed. "And this is my friend, Arthur."

He gestured lazily towards his English friend, and Alfred turned to greet him, grinning wide. But then something very peculiar happened.

As soon as their eyes met, the smile fell from Alfred's face. His eyes went wide and his mouth opened soundlessly for a few moments before he closed it and gulped thickly. Arthur probably would have thought it more odd if he hadn't been having a strange reaction of his own: Alfred was just so goddamned handsome he couldn't even form a coherent thought anymore.

"Hi…" said Alfred, sounding a bit dazed.

"Hi…" Arthur croaked out in reply.

They stared at each other for a few long moments, and then a terrific shout burst the little spell hovering around them.

"Oh, my God, Arthur! That's the first time you haven't used your line!" Gilbert exclaimed.

Arthur's faced burned scarlet and his heart hammered, half in embarrassment and half in fear.

He hadn't used the right words! Technically, he knew that his introduction didn't make a difference – he'd meet his soul mate no matter what he said – but this was the first time in his life that he hadn't said his special phrase, and it felt like he'd made a big mistake.

"Alfred, I've never heard you say 'hi' before, either" Matthew commented, thoughtfully. "You're always so particular about how you introduce yourself."

"You have a special line, too?" Gilbert asked, curious.

Alfred and Arthur exchanged a horrified look, both blushing furiously and looking away quickly.

"Uh, yeah," Alfred stammered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "My tattoo just says 'Hi' so it doesn't really give me any clues about who my soul mate is or where we'll meet. So ever since I was a kid I've always introduced myself with my name so that my soul mate will know it's me."

"Wow. Isn't that interesting," Gilbert remarked, his eyes glinting mischievously. "Say, Arthur? Doesn't your tattoo just say 'Hi' as well?" Arthur gulped and kept staring at the ground, feeling everyone's eyes on him. "Hey! I've just realised something!" Gilbert added in mock surprise. "Alfred's tattoo says 'Hi,' and Arthur's tattoo says 'Hi' and they both just said 'hi' to each other…Oh my gosh! Could it be?"

"Oh, shut up, you absolute wanker!" Arthur snapped viciously, flashing a warning glare at his friend.

"I guess we'll leave you two alone to talk for a minute," Matthew offered kindly, tugging his boyfriend away to leave a very awkward Alfred and Arthur in peace.

Eventually they agreed to go out on a date.

They couldn't be sure they were soul mates when their tattoos were so ordinary, but they had to at least give it a try. Luckily, there were plenty of other people in the world who suffered from having supremely unhelpful tattoos, so they weren't alone in being confused. Lots of people with matching simple tattoos like "Hello" and "Nice to meet you" ended up dating to see where things led. Some found out they weren't soul mates after all, and others never ended up meeting someone with another matching tattoo so it was obvious they were supposed to be together. In this situation, all Alfred and Arthur could really do was wait and see.

One date turned into two, and then three and four, and eventually Arthur had to stop counting. It was wonderful, really, and Arthur was glad that he'd slipped up and said "hi" to Alfred when they first met. He couldn't imagine his life without the man anymore.

And sadly, that was a problem.

What if Alfred _wasn't_ his soul mate in the end? What if tomorrow he met someone who had "The name's Alfred F. Jones!" tattooed on their forehead, and Alfred had to leave? He wouldn't blame Alfred, of course, but it would absolutely break Arthur's heart. He couldn't help but want Alfred to be his soul mate, even though he had no way of making it come true.

About a month after they started dating, Arthur got the call he'd been dreading.

"Arthur, it's me. Can I come over? I need to talk to you."

Arthur's heart shattered into little pieces, and when Alfred arrived at his apartment and sat beside him on the sofa, they pierced his empty chest like tiny shards of glass.

"Arthur, I need to tell you something," Alfred said carefully, as if this had been rehearsed, maybe even written out and memorised. "I've been thinking about this for a long time, and it's driving me crazy keeping it all inside so I just had to tell you. I know our tattoos are lame and don't really confirm anything, but I…I _want_ you to be my soul mate."

Arthur heard the words, but it took a moment for them to sink and for him to lift his head and meet Alfred's sincere, hopeful gaze.

"What?"

"You took my breath away when I saw you for the first time," Alfred continued, clasping Arthur's hands in his own. "And this month with you has been the best time of my life. If you're not my soul mate, then I don't want one at all. I don't need a tattoo to know that we're meant to be together. Will you…Can we be together? Forever?"

Arthur couldn't remember if he actually managed to say 'yes.' But it was pretty obvious from the way they ended up in bed together for the best sex of their lives that he was perfectly fine with the idea of being together with Alfred forever.

And, of course, neither of them ended up meeting anyone else with a matching tattoo because they had always been meant for each other.

* * *

 **A/N:** Written for the 365daysofusuk drabbled calendar on tumblr. Posted on July 5th, 2014.

I always wonder how it works in the soulmate clock AUs when the two tattoos aren't actually helpful at all. Like one person has "Excuse me." and the other is "Yes?" How do you know when you've actually met the right person when the words are so common and ordinary.


End file.
